Toughness is experiencing something that is subjectively distressing, leaning in, paying attention, and creating space to take a thoughtful action that aligns with your core values.
This means that the practice of toughness requires a few things, all of which are interrelated:
- Knowing what you value.
- Being with discomfort instead of immediately reacting.
- Taking into account what is happening around you, but not being unduly influenced by external pressures.
- Paying attention to the path of least resistance and asking yourself, “Is this what I really want?” before going down it.
- Not asking for help when you don’t need it but asking for it when you do
Since toughness means opening up to what is happening instead of shutting down, a tough person is constantly growing. Perhaps this explains why toughness is often associated with strength.